Why Live Yes?

​Dear Why Team member,
Thank you for being a member and joining this team dedicated to learning and growing via the question "why?".
​This week we consider bias.

Audio: 🗣

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Have you ever considered the difference between bias and preference? Bias is a pre-judgement, an inclination or predisposition towards something or someone, while preference is the conscious selection of one thing or person over another thing or person. Although bias is more often associated with a negative emotion, there are countless examples of positive bias like having a bias to "Yes"
Why is it best to have a bias to "Yes"?
Do you live more of a Yes-life or more of a No-life? You can find out by "taking your temperature":
How do you react when you don't get what you want, or feel you deserve? When unexpected events arise, do you find yourself becoming hot under the collar, or are you more likely to remain cool? And if not cool at first, do you quickly regain your composure to look for the lessons at hand?
Are you currently running a fever?

Here is why the No-life approach to life is so unhealthy, there is often No life. One could even say that where there is no life there is death. We all know those who are among the walking dead, do they not all have a bias to "No"?! Unless we actively train ourselves, we humans tend to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. This tendency is called negativity bias. Training ourselves to select positive responses to actions around us is called positive bias.

It's easy to say yes to what we want, but can we say yes to what we don't want? Yes, to all that life is bringing us? Yes to the challenges, yes to the hardships. Adversity reveals us to ourselves - our strengths and our weaknesses. Do you get angry at the lemons or get busy making lemonade? Are the lemons here to aide us?

How can our character be built without adversity? No one asks for a character-building experience, but can we learn to say yes to it when it comes? Can we not take a moment to find truth in this? Yes? Or are we to busy saying No like a spoiled child who is angry that the world does not revolve around them? We all have that child within us, maybe life's greatest gift to us is the maturing of us, the growing of us, providing the winds to strengthen us, so that we may grow taller and see farther - rising above our propensity to live a No-life and saying No to most of what life brings us.

What is there to be learned, how can saying Yes mean more for us and those for which we care most? Can we rise above the No's that are most often about us and say Yes to what will grow us to be more for others?
How does a No-life get a life? Start by saying Yes! Working on your Yes bias will be tougher than setting a preference – chocolate over vanilla or vegan over (sizzling crispy) bacon (okay, okay, I have a bias towards bacon 😊). So, I'll continue to ask you to take your temperature and become not self-conscious but self-aware of how you receive Life. You may not be entirely pleased with current times, but would you have been better off being born a peasant under King John of England? As Dr. Elko is known to say, I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be.

Live a yes-life! As the saying goes, "Resistance is futile". Of course, there will be times upon reflection that you will wish you had said no. But my experience has been that it is far better to live a Yes-life sometimes wishing you had said no, than a No-life sometimes wishing you had said yes. With a Yes-life there is always at least an experience to be had and a lesson to be learned.
Say more Yes to what life gives you and you will have more life to give.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach