Dear Why Team member,
Have you ever sat to wonder how words came to be? Who decided that a dog should be called a dog, or that the “thing” we all have inside us that no-one can find is called Soul? These are simple, short words but how about complex ones with a deeper meaning like: responsibility/response–ability or television/tell-a-vision.
Words, may they be spoken or written help us connect or alienate ourselves from the world around us. And let’s talk about connections as it is no secret that we humans were born for connection. As herd creatures, we are best realized and best actualized in community with each other. What we all seek is real authentic connection. We all want and need intimacy, in-to-me-see, to really be seen and to really see into and know others, to be real, and to know that it is okay not to be perfect. Whether you are willing to admit this desire or not, all strategies to keep others at bay ultimately lead to feelings of loneliness and depression as being alone goes against our nature. Remember Robinson Crusoe? Two years into his life on the island, he captured a parrot just so he could teach it to speak, the lack of intimacy of conversing with someone was wearing on him.
So, wanting to keep others at bay, is born from fear. It is our fears that hurt and separate us from each other. Ironically, we can unconsciously hurt others to keep from being hurt and in turn we hurt ourselves. Instead of looking into the eyes of others and experiencing life's greatest gift, we are often distracted by the facade and our human need to categorize. As the saying goes, "Hurt people, hurt people."
This way of living has a limited shelf life. If we are fortunate, eventually our deep need to connect overcomes our deep fear of hurt and rejection. When life comes at us particularly hard, it is then, stripped of all of our defenses, that we often come to connect with others and so appreciate the love and attention from others, finding ourselves more real and authentic than at any other time in our lives. It's natural to want to protect ourselves from hurt, but when we push others away out of fear of being hurt, we not only hurt others, but deny ourselves the joy, peace and beauty that comes with real connection, real intimate connection with others.
The passing and/or loss of a loved one, via death, rejection or abandonment, can bring a person to their knees – yet, it is on our knees that we can really come to know ourselves and truly have the capacity to connect with all other humans.
Who am I? Why am I? Can become more about the world around us and its shallow values, rather than the world within us and it's deeper value, our deep value to each other.
While our shallow paths can be very different, the cars we drive, the clothes we wear and the homes in which we live, what often brings us most together, it seems, is our very human and very real sufferings.
Ironically, while life is best lived via connection and intimacy with others, it is often best achieved when all our superficial identities fail to connect us. While losing worldly attachments, initially can give us a feeling of being worth-less, we can soon find that we are worth-more when we reach out to others in their deep need and/or receive from others in our deep need.
In real intimate connection to each other, we experience life's true purpose, to be of service and a strength to each other. Together we are truly better. All of life's greatest gifts are found deep within us.
In-to-me-see, in-to-you-see, it is here that we find our why, it is here that there is no limit to what we can be in service to ourselves and to others.
Make it a great week,