Dear Why Team member,
I hope this weeks message finds you well and having a well established Why. This week we consider why the questions we ask matter and more specifically why the order in which we ask them matters. Consider the following questions:
What path do I take?
How can I take it?
How will I make it?
How best should I start?
- Start with Why! -
Our Why is imperative if we are to discover, establish and maintain our Will.
Because as we have heard, our Will shows us the Way.
Why do so many fail to find the way? Maybe because they didn't have a Will strong enough to find it. Maybe they didn't start with Why to establish the Will in the first place.
Don't start with "what" and "how", start with "Why” and your "Will” will show you the way.
If you haven’t yet, consider reading Simon Sinek's first book titled,
“Start with Why" as a start.
The first chapter talks about how our assumptions rule our actions. We’ve come to assume that the easy way is the best way; maybe that’s why today, so many have become prone to reactively seeking the path of least resistance; their why has simply become the avoidance of pain, the avoidance of struggle. The resulting feelings of shame, feeling not enough, has led many to another path of least resistance: Blame. As shame rises in a culture, so does blame to ease the pain. Brene Brown, in her book, which I also highly recommend, titled "Daring Greatly" says, "If shame is in the drivers seat, blame is riding shotgun".
Today, many prefer not to look in the mirror and choose rather to look out the window, seeking someone or some group to blame for their own feelings of inadequacy, believing "If I can just find someone to judge as less-than, then, maybe I can feel more-than in comparison. Forget real effort, personal responsibility and accountability, one need only blame others to feel better about themself; it's easy, anybody can do it."
Is that a Why to live by?
It’s not always easy to look in the mirror, but we must if we are to find the best within us. Look deep into the mirror, look beyond the first image you see and, as we talked a couple of weeks ago, make sure you’re looking through clear lenses so you can really see yourself clearly. Be grateful for all your short comings for they make it possible for you to empathize with others.
Why are you here?
Why do you exist?
Could the personal dragons you slay and have slain be your greatest gifts to learn, grow and serve others?
Could your why be to help others find their way? As my friend and life coach Dr. Roger Hall often shares, "Do you want a map and a compass or a guide who has been there?"
For many, unfortunately, the why of their life is to find the path of least effort, for life to be easier, no matter where it leads - as long as it's easier. Without our why firmly before us, we can end up sacrificing what matters most to us to avoid the struggles and challenges of life.
Our "Why" is the important guide post answering our "what's" and "how's" and showing us the way that is best for us. Let not the noise of "What may be difficult" or "How can I do it" stand before "Why you do what you do".
The primary "Why's" of our lives: love of family and friends, meaning, purpose - establish our Will and our Will helps us find the Way - the way we will take, no matter the challenge, to serve what matters most to us.
A strong Will to serve others, no matter the difficulty, shows us the Way.
Start with your Why and no doubt you will make it a great week, month and year.